I believe that the inner self has all of the answers for us, listening to your intuition will provide those answers if you give it a chance to speak.
My Life Before Spirituality
I was in a relationship with someone roughly five years ago who was into spirituality. He always talked about the power of thought and being open to loving everyone regardless of what they were dishing out. Some things he would say made me want to be so free and open, this intrigued me. I started looking into the books he read and what it was all about. When we decided to go our separate ways, I left the relationship knowing that I had to find myself because I was lost. I didn’t understand who I was. How can you love someone you don’t even know? You can’t. I started reading book after book about self love. I knew there was a problem, yet I was so confused about how I was twenty five and didn’t even know who I was.
Finding Self Love
I locked myself in my room every day. I would read, meditate, read blog after blog about spirituality, and started changing everything I knew about life. The books I would normally read were donated. My beauty routine completely changed. I stopped using heat on my hair and tossed all of my make up that wasn’t cruelty free. Crystals starting popping up in all areas of my room. Going into nature became a daily thing for me. I began living this life that I couldn’t hide in anymore. My life was so wrapped up in everything around me which created chaos. I could see how I was trying to run from facing the life that was reality for me. When I realized this, all I wanted to do was focus on personal growth.
I spent all the time I could with myself in silence. Meditation became a huge part of my life. Joining a yoga studio was a great way to meet like-minded individuals, my answer was to sign up for a yoga studio. A few yoga classes in, I found Ashtanga. Ashtanga brought me to a whole new understanding of the self, you can read my experience with The Primary Series here: https://ashtangaash.com/my-experience-with-the-primary-series-of-ashtanga/
The practice of Ashtanga taught me to breath, how to tune into the self, and Mantra.
Trying to Understand The Self
The journey to Spirituality took about three years and I am two years into my Ashtanga Practice. I can only image the growth that others have received by having a knowledge of the self from the time they were young, that unfortunately not the plan for me. As I sit here and I look back at the last five years, all I can feel is gratefulness. I am so blessed to have my trials, my tribulations. Even though it has been so hard at times, I wouldn’t have my life any other way. I love the outcome and life that I am currently living. If there was one minor detail changed, who knows what life I would be living.
Trusting the Plan
Now that I look back at the seeds that have been planted and bloomed over the last five years, I have come to accept the trials that are currently in my life. Everything I have gone through that created some kind of a breaking point for me, brought me joy in the end. Every breakdown moment brought a breakthrough that in time brought happiness and growth, even an understanding of myself. It is so much easier now to the a different perspective of what is being stirred up by something so much bigger than me. I trust the plan, regardless as to how broken it makes me feel at the time.
Controlling the Body
We were given this body to help us on this journey, that is why its so important to take care of it. With a body comes emotions, I have struggled with controlling my own emotions. Ashtanga teaches us to sit in uncomfortable positions and breathe through them for five controlled breaths, a lot will come up when we do this. I believe that as we go through life, we need to control the body. We must learn to control sexual cravings, food cravings, thoughts, emotions, and not creating a reaction to the physicality of the world around us. When we learn to master these things, we will not held down by desires. We will be free, we will no longer be dependent on outcomes.
The Plan is Bigger than Us
Understanding that there is a reason for all things helps us live a life filled with optimism, love, and acceptance. The plan is bigger than us. There is a point A and point B for each of us, emotions are not taken into account while we are on this journey. Welcome the plan with an open heart because it will be so much harder if we fight it. Find acceptance in all things and take the ride with open arms.
Listen to that Still, Small Voice
The still small voice that talks to us in our heads is our intuition, it is meant to guide us. Listen to your intuition because it’ll be a much smoother ride. We are drawn to certain things because they play a role in our journey. Spirituality sparked up in my life because it was supposed to lead to me to yoga. All of this was shown to me so that I can be here spreading these words to you right now. You are reading this right now because you were meant to, and you will take what I write and use it in some way in your life or by passing it onto another. Listen to that voice because it is so important, it is pure, it is the inner-most compass that was put inside all of us to guide us towards happiness.